Raisin Bran

   I had my heart broken a few months back and realized that raisin bran is my heart break food. I went through an entire box in less than twenty-four hours. Since then I have been completely addicted. I am in fact, eating a bowl of it right now, which I chose over cocoa puffs and lucky charms. Anyway... My post today is about heartbreak and irony. Let me just give you some back story and then we can get down to the nitty-gritty.
   Ray and I were "talking" for almost five months. We get along incredibly well. We are both intelligent, honest, funny and have very similar upbringings. We have nicknames and inside jokes. We would have what I liked to call text dates, where we would literally text for six hours straight. Seems impossible right? How is it imaginable to talk to someone that much without running out of things to say? We have this flow where we can talk about everything from music to squirrel guts. We have a connection like I had never experienced before. We had both recently gotten out of very serious relationships and had been up front about not wanting to start anything. Well, after around the four and a half month mark, I started to want more. I wrote him a letter where I basically told him that I was ready for something to develop. I wanted it to be with him, but if he needed more time, or didn't feel the same way, I would try and respect that. Well, after receiving the letter, he informed me that he had been talking to another girl for the last two months, and that when he was ready, that's the direction he was leaning towards. I was crushed at first. How is it possible that I had once again allowed myself to fall for somebody that was not willing to reciprocate the same feelings? I felt foolish and lacking in some vague area. Time really does heal all wounds though. A few months have passed now and we are still the best of friends. In fact, we are closer than ever. A few days ago he came to me about this other girl. It seems that they have been "talking" for around five months now, and he wants a relationship but she isn't ready.  Ironic right? Not only that, he suspects that she is "talking" to someone else also. He is feeling exactly the way that he had made me feel just a few short months ago. Is that not bizarre? After we talked it out, I realized that this was not the first time that I had been in this situation.
   There are different variables and degrees of love and heartbreak in each instance, but the script is the same. "I like you, you like her, she likes the one that likes me." Have you been there? I would bet money that everyone knows, or has known, this sentiment. We all say "Why is it so hard to find someone? We would never treat people the way we have been treated in love.", but the truth is, we are all guilty of hurting someones feelings. It's inevitable. Say there's this guy that's got a thing for you, but you're not feeling him, so you don't return his phone calls because you don't want to lead him on. When the situation is reversed, and you're the one with the crush and no response, it eats you up inside.
   I don't know what to do with this realization.
   Love does exist. If we are honest with ourselves, we are all searching for it. What our souls crave is for that feeling of acceptance and understanding. The romance of science, when our bodies recognize in someone else what it lacks. What it takes to make us complete.