Have you ever put yourself out there and gotten nothing in return? I mean like a total wave of silence? It sucks! As much as it sucks when we get this type of reaction, we still need to put our hearts on the line. What is living, if you don't risk every once in awhile?
I have been in a bit of a down place recently, which is one of the reasons I haven't posted anything. I don't like for people to know when I'm struggling. I am a perfectionist to the hilt! It's a sickness really, lol. Do any of us really want people to see when their lives aren't where they want them? Does everyone feel like a failure at some point? I think the answer is yes, we all feel like failures sometimes. It's strange when it happens to other people, I don't look down on them, or cast judgement. When I'm in a tight spot though, I feel like I'm under a microscope! I feel like I should have a perfect demeanor at all times. I think that's a southern woman's way of thinking, lol. Life isn't perfect. The only thing that is within our control is our reaction to any given situation. So I'm asking everyone out there to show some compassion, some kindness, just pay it forward for goodness sake!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Blue is my favorite
So, this is my very first blog. I must admit that I feel a bit like a temptress with all you people out there with voyeuristic tendencies.
You know how when people get older, they start to reminisce about "the good old days"? I think this point in my life is a time that I will look back on with fond feelings. Not that I don't have any problems, or that I have anything going according to plan. I feel centered with myself for the first time ever. To give you a little background, I got married when I was young, too young probably. I have felt a bit stifled over the last eight years, not because he verbally asked me to give anything up, but because I got very caught up with trying to do what was expected of a person in my position. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. A few weeks ago we seperated. During this period of time that I was not worried about what my mate's needs and wants were, I really had to take a step back to remember what it was that I liked. I had some interesting discoveries through our time apart. I found that anytime I was drawn to the color purple, I would get very angry. This seems strange, I know. The reason for this sudden rush of temper? My favorite color is blue, but I, at some point, started being attracted to the color purple, because this is my husbands favorite color. I realize that this seems like a minor thing, but since this small realization, I have been reminding myself silently that my favorite color is blue. I think I'm insane. lol
I have started to learn french, and have gotten back into photography, I no longer feel guilty when I go out with friends, I rent the movies that I want to see, and I've begun painting again! I am listening to what I want for the first time ever!
You know how when people get older, they start to reminisce about "the good old days"? I think this point in my life is a time that I will look back on with fond feelings. Not that I don't have any problems, or that I have anything going according to plan. I feel centered with myself for the first time ever. To give you a little background, I got married when I was young, too young probably. I have felt a bit stifled over the last eight years, not because he verbally asked me to give anything up, but because I got very caught up with trying to do what was expected of a person in my position. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. A few weeks ago we seperated. During this period of time that I was not worried about what my mate's needs and wants were, I really had to take a step back to remember what it was that I liked. I had some interesting discoveries through our time apart. I found that anytime I was drawn to the color purple, I would get very angry. This seems strange, I know. The reason for this sudden rush of temper? My favorite color is blue, but I, at some point, started being attracted to the color purple, because this is my husbands favorite color. I realize that this seems like a minor thing, but since this small realization, I have been reminding myself silently that my favorite color is blue. I think I'm insane. lol
I have started to learn french, and have gotten back into photography, I no longer feel guilty when I go out with friends, I rent the movies that I want to see, and I've begun painting again! I am listening to what I want for the first time ever!
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