Facebook: The Guest Room of My Life

The other day, I was talking to yet another friend that was leaving social media. He cited many reasons for his departure, but the primary complaint that I heard was that people were fake and that he felt like he was constantly concerned with how many "likes" or comments he would receive when posting something. I've had this conversation with many before and it always leaves me perplexed. I LOVE my Facebook! I don't understand when people say the mean things they say about it. These feelings got me thinking about why I love my account so much. Here's what rolled around my brain:

I honestly feel like Facebook is the guest room of my life. I can decorate it however I want and I can invite my friends and family into chosen aspects of my life. We can have community, talk, share pictures and stories, and learn new things about each other. It has also become a huge blessing to me because I can influence the thoughts and feelings of those that I care about with minimal time and effort. I wish I had more time to devote to this task but, let's be honest, I am busier than Santa's coal miners at Christmas! That doesn't mean I don't want to be connected to you! <3 <3 <3

I am more open about my life than most. I share things that are embarrassing if they will make you laugh. If I can help heal the hurt in someone else's life by sharing some hurt in my own then I will. If I think that someone could benefit from a mistake or a struggle that I am dealing with, I will tell you about it! I feel like if more people were honest about their struggles maybe the world wouldn't feel so alone. I still keep a lot of details private but the general idea is there and if someone sends me a private message to talk further, I am an open book. I am told on about a weekly basis by at least one person that they love my page. My friends will tell me that if they're having a bad day, they can always count on me to post something inspiring or funny to lighten their moods. That is an incredibly powerful tool and gift that I am extremely grateful for. 

The majority of people in my collection of friends are people that I've actually interacted with in real life, but there are a few that I haven't had that face to face meeting with yet. I have become friends with a few of the absolute sweetest people on earth through FB. One reason is that I am kind of fanatical about a couple of bands and if someone has something good to say about that band, I want to be their friend. They might actually understand my mania and my love for the rock-stars that I've come to know and love! This has brought me closer to a whole other variety of people that I never would have had the pleasure of meeting had it not been through social media. 

I also feel like I can learn SO much from the people in my little guest room! My friends are multi-cultural, eat different things, speak different languages, have different faiths, and had very different upbringings and ideas about the world. Despite all the differences between us, there is one thing that unites us: We're all human beings. I have started many discussions on a variety of "hot button" topics in my guest room but everyone knows that the one house rule that I enforce is respect. I value our diversity and think that these discussions can be a place of great meetings of the mind, if... everyone plays nice. Honestly, I hate it when someone states an opinion and the person next to them says, "Well that's wrong because I think this way." How is it that you have the only "right" opinion in the universe? Having a calm discussion with someone that thinks differently than you doesn't have to change what you believe. It might actually strengthen your beliefs or at the very least give you a new perspective and more compassion to see the world through.

There are a few reasons that I have banned people from this very special place. One is blatant attacks and disrespect of myself or one of my friends. Once again, I only have one rule in my house and that is to respect each other as living, breathing human beings. If you can't do that, you've got to leave. The other reason is basically a lack of character. If you're constantly being negative, rude, or talking badly about people in real life, we have nothing in common. Seriously, if you post cheery crap on your page all day and scroll through and talk junk to me about all of your friends, I assume that you're doing the exact same thing to me, and that's just not cool. I think I've probably unfriended 5 people over the last decade or so, not even including my ex-husband, who unfriended me! So don't be worried if you've been having a bad week and think I just ax people, willy-nilly. 

To wrap it all up, I love you guys! I want to thank you for staying in my little room! I hope that it is a warm, cozy, and inviting stay, and one that you'll want to come back to frequently! YOU enrich my life just by being who you are! Thank you for being my friend! 

Wow.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with the previous day's makeup still smudged on my face. My hair was unkempt when I wandered out to my love, and the cup of coffee he had already prepared for me. After some waking up time, he helped me lift weights. Later, I sat down in my pajamas with a bit of dried sweat on my forehead, ready to eat my breakfast of spaghetti and meatballs. We were talking about something, probably our plans for the day, not really sure now... Anyway, he's looking at me, in all of the glorious splendor that I just described, and he stops mid sentence and says "You are so beautiful, honey." He was so sincere, that I actually teared up.
There are moments that I am completely overwhelmed by the love that we share.

Why I'm In No Hurry To Marry My Husband

    I had been praying for my husband, diligently, for about a
 year before we met. I had grown tired of having my heart
 broken by men that I thought were good enough, and realized
 that I needed to wait on God to reveal the man that He made
 for me. My prayer was that if a man wasn't right for me,
 that there would be no mutual interest. That was a lonely
 request, at times, but I was determined to stay faithful. I
 learned a lot in that time. I grew closer to God, became
 more in touch with my true needs and desires, and gained a
 bit more patience. On June 29th, 2014, I sat down with my
 coffee and a notebook, and dreamt up the perfect man for me.
 I prayed while writing each of the 31 character traits that
 I would want in a man, and then I took that list, put it in
 a box and forgot about it. Nine short days later my
 gentleman walked right into my lobby.

    He was tall, fit, and gorgeous. Aviators, tight black jeans,
 a mess of slightly tamed curly hair, and a beautiful Zen
 guitar tattoo on his forearm. I almost drooled. He was
 delivering a catering order to a meeting upstairs, and while
 I verified the location to send the food, I went in for the
 kill. He will laugh when he reads that, but I wanted him, so
 I flirted. And he flirted back! I went to the restaurant,
 that Saturday, and he recognized me, crossed the room, and
 introduced himself to me and my mom. I left my number for
 him, and bolted as soon as we finished our food. He texted
 me that evening and, with full sentences and punctuation,
 asked if he could call at a certain time. I almost had a
 heart attack.

    The relationship blossomed from there. We recognized each
 other, almost immediately, as what we'd been looking for. He
 came over to my house, one evening, and asked what the date
 was, and declared that it was going to be our official
 anniversary. The next morning, I was looking for something,
 and came across my list. The perfect man that I had
 pictured? I wrote about him exactly one month before our
 "official anniversary"! With trembling hands I read the
 exact qualities that my (now official) boyfriend possessed.

    We have now been together for six months. I can honestly say
 that it has been one of the most challenging relationships
 I've ever been in, and by far the most rewarding. Where one
 of us is weak, the other is strong. This man is my partner,
 mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He not
 only loves me for the ways that I'm great, but also for my
 flaws. He inspires me to pursue my dreams, and to better
 myself. When I am feeling down or confused, he encourages me
 to seek God's will.  We trust each other. When I ache
 from my brutal desk job, he draws a warm bath, and brings me
 cheeseburgers while I'm soaking and reading. He tells me
 that I'm beautiful, every day. We have equal household
 duties. He values my opinion, and seeks out my advice. He
 wants me to make time to nurture my friendships, and
 relationships with people that aren't him. He's endlessly
 interesting, achingly talented, tirelessly kind, wickedly funny,
 and so hot! Did I mention that the man is a sexy beast?

    The point is: He is my husband, in every way that matters.
 We have committed ourselves to each other, in the sight of God.
 We make each other better people. I am more secure, and more
 loved, than I have ever been in a romantic relationship.
 It's open, and honest, and free, in a way that I've never
 experienced. I've been married on paper before, but now I've
 been blessed with the real thing.